The annual Scottish Groundhop, always an early signal of spring, and the downward slope to the season’s conclusion. The weather at these gigs hasn’t always been warm sunshine and fine sunsets though. Indeed, togging down at Glenrothes one giddy Saturday morning due the temperature rising was a rare climate high for these occasions, where waterlogged pitches, plittering snows, or just all round grey and cold, are more like the norm. On one dank hop, the indoor arena at the Oriam in Edinburgh saved a higher casualty rate that day, where Heriot Watt University hosted Leith Athletic. Those who froze inside the fine dome that late afternoon, I do believe were privy to the best ever goal on a Scottish hop, a thunderous strike from Leith that aided a fantastic comeback in a thrilling 2-2 draw. However, for the ’25 hop, the weather was consistently more Glenrothes, with mild sunburn potentially a thing at the first two Saturday games!
Michael Palin’s Ripping Yarns is always something I inadvertently find myself quoting lines from, and when the hop is nearing, Tomkinson’s Schooldays comes to mind. The annual clifftop hop is just a sadistic thing invented by the school bully to taunt the younger boarding school boys. Not being a groundhopper perse, four games in a day is always daunting thought, hence the correlation.
Julie Birchill, writer and journalist, back in her pomp was almost akin to a certain American President these days. She didn’t hold back, generally causing controversy on occasion with her views. One of her quotes that stuck with me for decades was the notion that there isn’t anything worthwhile north of Watford! I have often adapted that for humour, and bite back from a Scottish perspective, suggesting that anything west of Newbridge roundabout in substitute for Watford. Like any country, the bigger cities have a rivalry, and in Scotland, where the capital is the smaller of the two, it adds colour to the debate. One thing that is screamingly obvious to those in the world of football, Glasgow, and only Glasgow can be number one. That sticks in the throat, especially when UEFA wanted Murrayfield and Hampden in the 2028 Euro portfolio, but were told in no uncertain terms that it was Hampden only. Even for an International competition, Edinburgh, with the best stadium in the country, can’t be allowed to share the love and that irks.
The travelling hoppers have long used hotel facilities on the outskirts of East Kilbride, and the bus driver has on occasion had some lengthy treks east to get the fans to the games. For 2025, the amount of travel from their base would be considerably less, with the two fifth tier clashes in the Lowland League and the three eighth tier games all in and around the western fringes of the East of Scotland League and beyond. All this year’s matches would mean filtering onto the M8 Edinburgh bound for a brief morsel. Only the route home on the Sunday via West Linton would see any undue trekking East, but only to pick up the necessary road to this Scottish Borders village, home to the last team to get involved in the pyramid, more later.
FRIDAY
Cumbernauld
It all kicked off in Cumbernauld or just outside it. Ronnie Corbet was once used to advertise the regeneration of this new town, and the moniker “what’s it called, Cumbernauld”, by word association, it just trots out in my mind, everytime the name crops up. The fine Broadwood stadium here, the highest altitude ground, certainly in the top five tiers in Scotland, is at a fairly low 127 meters above sea-level. It isn’t going to terrify a Bolivian, merely make them giggle, I suspect. The new El Alto stadium in Bolivia is just a tad higher at 4,500m, which is borderline preposterous, in my opinion!
Broadwood is quite a sleepy hollow these days. Its 8,000 capacity is rarely tested, and while various games are played here, only the local Lowland League side Cumbernauld Colts call it home. Clyde, who very nearly made the Premiership a little over a decade ago while playing here, also scalped Celtic in the Scottish Cup at Broadwood. The Bullywee, the nickname of Clyde, were thrown out of the stadium due to their controversial employment of David Goodwillie. He had been playing for them for sometime, but when Raith Rovers tried to sign him, it all kicked off, and the backlash, largely led by Val McDermid, a famous Scottish author and Raith fan, had the profile to really shake the tree. It ultimately saw their tenancy arrangement at Broadwood ripped up. They now groundshare at Hamilton.
The stadium is far too big for the Colts, but a spot of luxury for the groundhoppers, and a seat ahead of more spartan surroundings the next day and beyond, although I suspect the less conventional grounds are more to their liking. The Colts were a youth side that developed an adult team and joined the inaugural Lowland League, where the lack of any interest from the beloved West Junior teams saw a number of panicky appointments by the authorities to this level to make sure it was covering all areas of the lowlands.
Traditionally the Colts have been nearer the top end of the league, but this term has been a struggle, and the trapdoor into a potential West of Scotland top league is staring either Cumbernauld or Broomhill in the face. The latter are another west side fallen on harder times, who now share at Dumbarton, having previously ground shared here at Cumbernauld too.
In town for the hop opener were Broxburn Athletic, whose debut season in the fifth tier has largely gone brilliantly, but a series of heavy thumpings were on the CV ahead of this match. Undoubtedly losing 0-8 in the Scottish Cup to Ayr United was bad enough, but that was followed by a 1-6 at home to Gretna and a 0-5 to Albion Rovers. Signs were that blip was over with two subsequent wins sandwiched either side of another, mauling 5-2 at Tranent. Goals were expected.
In front of a healthy opening hop crowd of 375, well above the Colts normal figure, Cumbernauld defied their lowly league position by putting Broxburn to the sword 2-0. It was a lively affair, especially in the first half, when both goals were scored. Broxburn had chances but just weren’t clinical enough in front of goal, as the Colts largely parked the bus in the second half.
SATURDAY 1690
Fear, yee not, we haven’t tripped back in time, merely setting the scene for the Saturday action. Trainspotting 2 had a hilarious element when the rogue quartet decided to nick bank cards from people attending an Orange Lodge meeting. When they pitched up at a West Lothian cash machine, no one knew the individual pin numbers, but they suggested 1690, and more often than not, it was successful! The year refers to the Battle of the Boyne, something that should have no great meaning or significance to anyone these days, certainly not in the world of football, but like Ayrshire, parts of Glasgow and Lanarkshire, West Lothian is a hotbed of staunch religious views. Harthill Royal, doesn’t even try to hide its persuasion, with West Calder, as well as Bathgate (sponsored by a Rangers supporters club) are from the same school of thinking. The day would conclude with a counterbalance, where Coatbridge, to nearby Airdrie, tends to be a more Irish tricolour town. In these parts of the world, sadly, what school you went to, or what team you support, matter.
Harthill
This was a new venue for me, a brisk old morning sweep along the M8 from the nation’s capital to what I had only ever previously known as a service station area on the motorway.
Tucked in behind a fence on the main road through the town is Gibbshill Park. Just one Union Jack flying to greet us at this edge of town ground, with its rural views. The pitch was stodgy, and with both clubs needing points to avoid relegation, it was a nervy affair. Harthill won it late on with the only goal, a deserved three points considering the astonishing misses, including a penalty they had earlier in the game.
West Calder
Tucked away a little off any major road artery, save the A71 connecting Edinburgh and Ayrshire in a slow fashion, is the village of West Calder. The stadium is basic at best, rudimentary in every way. I first saw a match here when Edinburgh College pipped them to promotion the season before they finally stepped up, but the atmosphere grew decidedly unwelcoming and perhaps the college kids needed to keep the head, but who could deny them their promotion moment. These two sides are both in the mix for promotion to the 7th tier this term, with West Calder having joined the College up a level last season, going up as Champions.
The visitors for this sundrenched clash were Kennoway Star Hearts, a curiously named club, until I learned Star is also a village, not just an additional name. They needed the win to get right in the promotion mix, where six teams would jousting for two slots if they got the three points. This is assuming Armadale continue to lead by a comfortable margin.
West Calder, celebrating 75 years, were never in total control of this highly entertaining game but never in danger of losing it. Even at 4-2 though, Star as they seem to be known, just kept coming. The season was, after all, on the line. Having rounded the goalkeeper, not scoring to reduce the arrears wasn’t great. It was subsequently magnified minutes later when a penalty made it 4-3. That is how it would end, almost half the entire hop goals in one game, but in truth, it could have been 7-5 or something daft like that.
Bathgate
Now here we were at a venue that once housed a Scottish league side. Bathgate Thistle might be in the 8th tier, but they are newly promoted last term, and looking for a double skip up if chance allows.
Creamery Park is a fine ground. It has a shed that many a side higher up the pyramid would be proud of. Even the grassy terraces are almost natural, making it feel like a proper stadium. The clubhouse/social club doubtlessly are vital elements of the clubs income streams. Yet, despite the relative recent success, unlike nearby Whitburn or Armadale, they struggle to get a reasonable crowd. Bathgate isn’t a small town, it’s an odd thing. But hey, on groundhop Saturday, the crowd was handsomely swollen, hopefully adding some numbers to the club bank balance.
West Calder winning put pressure on both Bathgate and visitors Easthouses Lily, as these were two of the remaining five in the 8th tier promotion melee.
There were morsels of seeming disorganisation at this one. The programmes hadn’t arrived ahead of the crowd, and hot food quickly ran out, with the wait for the next batch being 15 minutes. The two lady’s in the tea hut were working very hard though. I had saved my steak pie of the day for this one, with Bathgate renowned for its local butchers offering. With kick-off incoming, even with a slight delay due to an official being unable to take part, it would be Coatbridge before I got any sustenance worthy of the name, as the wait for a pie was going to detract from the game.
I had seen Bathgate earlier in the season, and they were badly turned over that evening by Burntisland Shipyard. They won’t be looking for me to return, because by games end here, Easthouses were good value for the 3-0 win, keeping them right in the mix for what should be a cracking conclusion to the season.
Coatbridge
When the relegation play off was introduced into Scottish football, only in 2014/15, there were a few suspects that you could round up and accurately predict they would lose their league status eventually. East Stirlingshire were certainly one, and were the first to drop out in 2016. Berwick were perhaps a surprise collapse. Cowdenbeath historically a struggler, although, a bit like Brechin, when these two clubs fell out of the league, it was on the back on incredible highs of being in the second tier not so very long before their demise. Elgin City, who should be greater than the sum of its parts, are perhaps the one club that has always managed to dodge the ‘team 42’ tag.
Albion Rovers, the most recent side to lose their status, did so in such an ugly, depressing way versus The Spartans. It was even worse than Berwick, who really got mauled by Cove, but it was the apparent lack of fight that struck me that day at Cliftonhill. A day that still haunts their fans, I am sure, although I know many of the supporters are enjoying the refreshing alternative venues to go and watch a game. Did the players get stage fright? The sense of dread that seemed to envelope them in the second leg was distinctly noticeable.
Ahead of this game, news broke of the clubs real financial predicament, with the Saturday before seeing the match versus Linlithgow Rose curiously cancelled at short notice. There has long been a suggestion that a family behind the club are more interested in the real estate value of the land, rather than the club, which is always a recipe for disaster.
The ground is a ramshackle, but a gem. Old school, proper venue, put out to seed and a photogenic treat for the hoppers who might never have ticked this old lady off their roster previously. Bo’ness United were the night school attendees for this mid-table scrap.
While this game was to end as it started, 0,0, Albion in particular can consider themselves unlucky. At times, they laid seige to the Bo’ness goal, racking up corner after corner in the first half, but they just couldn’t find a clear path to score. The visitors were well organised, and having weathered the storm, created some opportunities themselves. None closer than a brilliant mazy run that seemed to deflect as it headed goalwards, and that maybe took the pace off the ball, allowing a goal line clearance. It would have been cruel on Albion, but by then, hoppers who don’t like a goalless game (technically doesn’t count in some books and requires a re-visit!?) would have taken any goal and ran! Look on the bright side, though, if that’s your rule, a daytime game at Cliftonhill would be another super experience.
SUNDAY
WEST LINTON
School’s out, demob happy is mantra as the hop concludes. If you are going to wind down, you can’t beat a bit of the Borders countryside to do it in, where the pace of life slows. Oddly, the Glasgow giants always seem to be scheduled for almost the same time, but hey, that’s hardly going to steal away a hopper from Linton Hotspur versus Livingston United, with the visitors carrying on the West Lothian theme. They might be 9th tier, but United are the original Livingston team, none of this Meadowbank Thistle hijacking that lurks at Almondvale.
Linton Hotspur, have either taken their name from a certain London club, or just maybe Kirkwall! Further investigation courtesy of the match programme suggests Tottingham, as Ossie used to call them! Spurs (or Sputs, if you are reading on BBC teletext!) were a Borders Amateur league side, who jumped into the East of Scotland pyramid last season.
The Borders is a vast area, and travel in it alone can see clubs decide to stay more locally, Eyemouth United, Duns, Kelso United went the other way, and maybe it even includes a Selkirk side now too, whose last ever EoS fixture was my one and only match in the town. So, it is pleasing to see a team try bucking the trend and coming into the regional pyramid, who, if you’re good enough, can become something altogether more national.
It has to be said, Linton were the star of six venues involved. A very friendly welcome awaited, even nailing a sign ‘Welcome Groundhoppers’ to a tree outside on the country road was a lovely touch. Home baking et al, a welcome chomp with a proper coffee too. Down at the exceedingly rural, but delightful New Moor Road ground, their is ambition in spades. The facilities are top notch for the ninth tier, and with floodlights likely in the near future, a proper license and entry into Scottish Cup might be next on the agenda.
For now, Hotspurs and Livi United are much improved on last term, with both dreaming of promotion. An early goal put the home team in front, and rumours of an away goal at Celtic Park were confirmed as the Livi staff enjoyed watching it on their phone! They would be at it again soon after.
Despite a cracking start, Spurs, who play in a QPR kit, had to weather a Newcastle-esque kitted visitor (a portent for 70 years of hurt gone later that afternoon at Wembley) who just couldn’t find a route to goal. In the second half, the speed of the Linton number seven was causing havoc, and when the second goal arrived down that channel, it was thoroughly deserved. After the second, only one team was going to win, and with a little more composure, it might have been by a bigger margin.
Hotspur look well placed to step up a level where nearby Peebles, Innerleithen and maybe Hawick await for a plethora of borders derby encounters. It’s all new and exciting for Linton, and I, for one, will be keeping a closer eye on how they are progressing.
In the end, 15 goals was a low return on the goals front, but some of these match ups were key fixtures for promotion and relegation. The attendances seemed a little lower, with perhaps the inclusion of Cumbernauld and Coatbridge being venues previously visited for many. Floodlights are needed for two games, and therein lies the conundrum. Nobody turned a losing streak around and finally won like Barnstoneworth United, but I merely throw that in to bring us back to where we started and the great football episode of Ripping Yarns. Until 2026…..
Football Adventures with James Rendall 